Dark Demon – A Poem

Words: Olivia Adams
Photography: Jake U 
Model: Lara De Koster

I morphed into a dark demon when you ceased to touch me

My body was no longer a planet around stars

An asteroid hit my mind,

exploding it into tiny fragments of thoughts

floating around space, begging to make sense,

begging to find the other half of its idea, of its atom,

gasping for air, unable to breathe

The thoughts were unsafe and distant from my mind,

alienating me in the space journey I thought was ours

But I’m a god of my own world, with a magic touch to heal myself

No one else’s spells will do

I am like Hydra

try cutting off my head, I dare you

OFF WITH MY HEAD

go on try it, two more heads will grow back

I am the Hathor goddess of beauty and sound

I am the Bastet goddess of beauty and dance

DIVA, I am half Athena

victorious over winning mental battles against myself and anything else in the way

Whether I greet them as a Greek tragedy or a straight up fuck boy

And I am half Aphrodite

I arise from raging seas, inhaling self-love and breathing out into the world

A creative divine! Burning from the ashes of each lifetime

I shot Cupid, putting an end to his cahoots with Hedylogos

and their plans to set me up with charming lies

I left those feelings behind

and journeyed on to embody the ouroboros in me

As I ventured, I let go of any feelings

that looked into other people to feel whole

With a quenching thirst for Qetesh’s pleasure of love to enter my throat

I bought myself a dildo and learnt how to love me

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I AM

I am Audrey Hepburn — An elegant intelligence

I am my own fashion Icon, An introspective powerhouse

Home to classic, kooky, natural idiosyncrasies

A trendsetter, A pop culture goddess

Timeless yet liberating, Feminine yet boyish

A modern woman full of influence

I am a humanitarian — An aid rooting for people’s self-love

I am my own woman, with a man by my side

I am an example of sexism- I model as a victim

I am unwillingly playing the game run by the patriarchy

But I am a walking talking broken stereotype

I have experienced unconvincing happy endings

But I hold agency and romance in my heart

I use my projects to challenge power structures

I infuse my work with real-life struggles

I AM

I am Marilyn Monroe- I am an ardent fem

I embody sexual encounters and search for creative freedom

Trying to embrace my naked flesh

I am educating myself — I am a spokeswoman for my experiences

that are tangled in sexual harassment, equality and artistic freedom

I am a megaphone, calling people out

I am treated as an object, I am exploited for my beauty

But I ooze sex on my own terms

I am a floating white dress yet I will not be seen as property

I embrace my sexuality and it might make others squirm

I am plastered in feminine and sexual power

I am a sex symbol but much more — I am the conductor of my persona

I am critiqued for my boldness, my I don’t give a damn attitude

I am no ditzy blonde, I am a determined blonde

I am a negotiator with my breathy dreamy honest voice

I am glamorous and a feminist walking around with my bikini on

while I ambitiously sought my way out of constraints

I am an electrifying goddess character projecting an aura of confidence

I craft my image, I pose for the mirror

I bought the loudest evening gown I could find

I promote myself and make my mark

I am the first woman who set up my own film production

I am the boss, I am a CEO, I push gender boundaries,

I change the landscape for women in the entertainment industry

for women in the streets

I am the definition of vulnerable- I am a survivor

I confess my trauma

I am a damaged soul working my way up and out

I am not ashamed, I am more than my baby doll voice

I am not meant to stay in a box, to be a home-maker and a trophy

I will sit at the front table at an Ella Fitzgerald gig

as I watch myself and the world around me evolve

I am more than the sex goddess of the week

I am a smart girl who knows I have no limits

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For More: ‘Making Sense Of It’